I thank God….

This issue of UNICO taking exception to the depiction of Italian American youths on the upcoming MTV show “Jersey Shore” got me thinking. Just what is a “guido” and what perpetuates the “lifestyle”? If by “guido” you mean a 20-something male of Italian extraction who drives a fancy car, needs to have his hair done up a certain way, visits the gym religiously, brags about his female conquests; and still lives at home with mom who dutifully cooks his meals and washes his clothes…then you’re probably on the money!

I, thank God, never gave myself the luxury. Oh sure, there were always “guidos” around, even though we didn’t call them that….(the term would have been “cuzhine”, which is the Italian term for “cousin”.) And while I lived at home for a short while after I graduated college and may have even contented myself with a civil service job as many of my peers were…..no, I had to aspire to something different….I had to be on the radio! And in order to be on the radio, I had to leave the protective cocoon of my neighborhood, friends, family, and girlfriend…and go off to find myself! In Middle Georgia, of all places! Imagine the culture clash that was! (If you saw the movie “My Cousin Vinny”, you’d be close!)

There are days when I tell myself that perhaps that the path of least resistance path would have been far better. Days when I say that had I taken that job with the New York City Transit Authority back in 1978, I’d probably be retired today. And you’re probably reading this and saying, “….so who’s the dummy?”

But leaving the bubble I’d been living in gave me an education I would never have gotten had I stayed behind.
Things like “how the other half lives”, “self reliance”, “doing what you love”, things like that…and most all, having the kind of support system in a wife and family that saw me through it all!

So as I sit here and write this, I really can’t help but kind of feel sorry for those kids in that show! I’m sure that one or two of them will wake up out of their stupor and realize they’re on a path to nowhere going fast! So do you blame MTV for holding up a mirror to them…albeit somewhat of a trick mirror? They’re merely the conduit for what passes for “entertainment”. Hopefully these kids will see that the joke’s on them.

Happy thanksgiving,

Ray

A favor to ask….

I have a favor to ask on behalf of a friend of mine who desperately needs help.
If you’ve frequented gyms in the Marlboro/Manalapan area, you’d know who my friend is. His name is Brian Wecker, and he’s one of the kindest, most giving individuals I know, who unfortunately is dealing with the unthinkable right now. He’s in a desperate search to find a bone marrow match for his son who was diagnosed with leukemia. The boy is only 13, and unfortunately has a rare bone marrow type.

Plans are in the works to set up a bone marrow screening in the area in the very near future, but for the moment he’s holding one this coming Wednesday, October 21st, at Doc’s Clam Bar on Page Ave. in Staten Island from 3 till 8 PM.

I know it might be a bit out of the way, but if you have a moment, and are in the area, please make a point to stop by. Again, that’s Doc’s Clam Bar, right off the Outerbridge on Page Ave. in Staten Island.

I’m told the screening only takes a few minutes…just a swab of saliva is needed.

If you need any more information, check out the Facebook page they’ve set up:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=144025285317&ref=mf

Again, you could be saving a life, and what’s more noble a calling than that.

Thanks for caring,

Ray

Show me your friends……..

My mom always used to say, “show me your friends, and I’ll tell you what you are!” So by that logic, I guess that if you have friends that are “schmucks”, chances are you’re probably a schmuck yourself!...with all due respect, of course.

The reason this comes to mind is the endorsement that the Reverend Reginald Jackson, executive director of the Black Ministers Council of New Jersey, recently made to reelect Jon Corzine as Governor of New Jersey. That probably wouldn’t be much of a surprise if it weren’t for the amount of face time he’d received in the movie, “The Cartel”.

By now you’re probable aware that “The Cartel” is an independently produced movie documenting the failure of the public school system in New Jersey, about how it wastes millions of dollars of taxpayer money to support an administration who’s only concern is to continue feeding at the trough…leaving children out in the cold! It’s an indictment of, among others, the powerful teacher’s union in propping up a system that rewards incompetence. All at your expense, dear taxpayer.

There are quite a number of public officials given face time in the movie…voicing concerns as to how broken the system is, and whether or not it can be fixed…most notable among them is the aforementioned Reverend Jackson. In the movie, he looks every bit the caring pastor, ministering to his flock, and showing much concern for the children of his congregation…and by extension, all the state’s children!

Well then, if he truly were a man of his word, and believed that to fix the system would be to promote competition within the educational establishment, i.e. charter schools, why would he then endorse the gubernatorial candidate who was already endorsed by the NJEA…the very organization that encourages maintaining the status quo.

Here’s his quote from the website, www.politickernj.com regarding the Corzine endorsement.

"I have not in the past and am not today making this endorsement lightly. This endorsement is made after much wrestling and soul searching. But it is an endorsement that I strongly make," Jackson said yesterday. "It's hard to be popular in tough economic times, but to his credit Jon Corzine has made the tough calls."

I know, it’s a rhetorical question And I’m not the only one asking that question. So too is Herbert Glenn, a Republican State Assembly candidate from Newark. Check out his take on the situation from politickernj.com.

http://www.politickernj.com/editor/34160/assembly-candidate-say-rev-jackson-will-gain-financially-endorsing-corzine

Especially the quote:

“"I am deeply concerned to investigate the understanding how religious leaders can compromise their spiritual convictions for their own personal political empowerment. This is a typical scenario of the pulpit pimp v. Christian crusader syndrome. Money talks."

So if money does the talking, there’s probably not a lot of “soul searching” and “wrestling” involved in deciding who should govern our state for the next 4 years, is there now?

And even though my mom never said it in biblical terms, saying “show me your friends, and I’ll tell you what you are!” got the message across.

"Lunchroom View"

Opinions are like, well….you know; everyone has one, and even though you get your fill of them here; you really get them in abundance out of the lunchroom.

And depending on your point of view, if you work with a lively bunch of “chiachiaones” (big mouths), lunchtime can either be especially annoying, or revealing! Sometimes, when the din reaches ear-splitting levels, I’ll just put the iPod on and bliss out to Yanni or something equally embarrasing. However, I am nosey by nature, so there are those times when the lunchtime "bochinche" is just too irresistible…and loads of fun!

Take the other day……I’ve learned, even as I’d been typing, that one of my coworkers is ruminating over their sexual past, and how karma is going to work itself out now that middle school aged daughters are involved. Ooofaa! That one never goes well!

Then there’s today’s edition of “Lunchroom View”….talk of claymation cartoons a la “Mr. Bill” and “Davey and Goliath”; how long have you gone without showering; Bruce at the Meadowlands not selling out; and bad cases of “ass acne”, and is it a precursor to something more heinous…all while I’m devouring last nights still partially frozen arroz con pollo. Despite the “ass acne” talk, I can’t tear myself away from the chicken! Yeah, I’m that hungry! And I never knew that ass acne requires a dermotoligist’s care, and if it’s covered by insurance!

The ghost of Rodney Dangerfield will appear every now and then to impart some wisdom…I’d give you an example, but since Rodney never got any respect in real life, why start now!

Yes, lunchtime can be truly revealing! Sort of like being a fly on the wall in a group therapy session. Now if I only can get the image of ass acne out of my head!

Brooklyn Roads

You may have heard that I’m a big Barry Manilow fan. That’s not quite true. The fact is I’ve always been a huge fan of another Brooklyn native. And no, it’s not Barbra Streisand either! It’s actually Neil Diamond. The “Jewish Elvis”!

And while his voice has given way to a sort of raspy shadow of its former self, the guy’s music is timeless. Not just the usual litany of hit material, but one in particular stands out as a personal favorite. The song is “Brooklyn Roads”. I think it came out in late ’68 or ’69, and it’s his autobiography of sorts. In it, he sings of his growing up “2 floors above the butcher, first door on the right”, running into his father’s bear hug, feeling his dad’s whiskers on his face. The imagery is stark and harkens back to a time when I can remember living 2 floors above a grocery store. Hearing the lyrics makes me smell the scents in the hallway of everyone’s cooking as he climbs the stairs to his apartment. It’s all so real for me. And as the story winds down, he bemoans the fact that his life has taken a few too many turns away from this simple life. But, in the end he realizes, as he looks up at his former apartment, and spies a boy not too unlike himself; that the more things seem to change, the more they remain the same. And even if you can never go back “home”, you’re never far from it either!

So it’s with that same feeling that on October 24th, I’m going to rewind back to 1965, when those familiar Brooklyn roads lead me back to my old grammar school….Our Lady of Grace! Quite a few of us have fond memories of OLG….a school which in the last few years has become a charter school.

God knows, the sight of the halls, the schoolyards, the classrooms, and the auditorium will bring back too many memories...and not all of them good! There’s the first day my mom dropped me off at kindergarten, and all I could remember, besides sheer terror, was the smell of burning tar from the construction of the school’s auditorium. Who’s ever challenged a nun’s authority? Well, you had to know that at that point, you were taking your life in your hands. A nun named Sister Genevieve ruled kindergarten with an iron fist. I had the nerve one day to tell her to shut up. That did not go well. Wooden sticks, smacks with both hands….I went home looking like Rocky after the first Apollo Creed fight!

Corporal punishment was the rule for nuns and even lay teachers…some were better at it than others. My 8th grade nun was so frail that when she went to smack one of my classmates for something stupid he’d done, her hand bled! No so with the other 8th grade nun. If you wore glasses and she told you to take them off, all the blood would drain from your face in anticipation of what was coming!

I often wondered whether any of these nuns could possibly have been canonized into sainthood knowing how they tortured some of us. I’d feel a little strange praying to one of them for a miracle.

But it wasn’t all hard knocks! Ringolevio, saluggi (grabbing someone’s hat off their head and flinging it around to your friends), getting initiated into the “bush club” (it’s not what you think, it’s actually getting tossed into hedges on the way to school), half days on Wednesday, pretzels at 10:30; and 8th grade prom (seeing real cleavage on girls you never thought had it!).

That’s only a small taste of where the road will lead on October 24th. I’m just wondering if I’ll find that same kid that Neil Diamond found at the end of his song!

In some ways he’s not as lucky as we were…..with one possible exception….he doesn’t have the bruises to show for it!

Off the beaten path

Call me a little late in coming to the table, but sometimes it takes a while to discover those gems that are the true essence of what New Jersey was.

A recent visit to both Roebling and Ocean Grove opened my eyes to just that.

Roebling, in case you’re not familiar with it, is a small town just south of Bordentown, founded by Charles Roebling….he of the family that manufactured the cable for the Brooklyn Bridge, George Washington Bridge, and Golden Gate…among many others.

Time it was that Roebling was a bustling hub of activity as the steel mills ran 24 hours a day. The residents there all worked for the company, and lived in a sort of nirvana until the mills closed in 1974. But Roebling never lost its sense of community.

My tour guide is the town’s unofficial historian, George Lengel. His father, a Hungarian immigrant, worked the mill, as did George himself until his father prevailed upon him to find another career, because, in his words, he didn’t raise his son to be no steelworker! And even though George didn’t fancy himself to be a grade A student, off he went in search of a career as an educator!

Most of the original housing…..mainly row homes and semi attached houses, still stand; as do remnants of the original mill. It is said that, ever now and then, an apparition appears in one of the abandoned mill’s windows, and despite the fact that searching parties have been formed, no one to date has been found!

It’s one of those few places where people rarely leave since a good many of the residents are descendents of the original settlers…..the quintessential place where “everybody knows your name”. Outside of the fact that the River Line runs through the center of town, it’s as though the 21st century stops at Route 130!

So too the character of Ocean Grove…..a short drive off the Parkway or Route 18, at the end of Corlies Ave. Just past the light on Route 71, and you enter another universe….sort of like a New Hope on the shore.

Here again the homes each have a character all their own, and you never know what your going to find happening on Main Ave. Recently my wife and I were just browsing through the stores when we hear someone singing to a karaoke machine, drawing an enthusiastic crowd! And that’s not such an unusual occurrence.

There are loads of others too numerous to mention here…..I’m sure you can name a few of your own. But it’s always a treat that in a state known for bulldozing its past to make way for tomorrow, there are still a few places that time seems to have forgotten!

To those who’ve fought the good fight…….

This may be a bit premature, but if you’ve been at the supermarket checkout in the last few days, you had to have seen the latest pictures of Patrick Swayze on the cover of the Enquirer. OK, I know it’s the Enquirer, but still, the pictures paint a grim picture, and that is that even though he claims to valiantly fight the pancreatic cancer that has him down to a gaunt shell of his former self, I can’t imagine he has too much time left! But fight on he will!

The reason I bring him up is how I’ve seen friends who’ve battled cancer wage the same battle, only to surrender in the end to the disease. There was a childhood friend who was diagnosed with leukemia in 1992, hoping to find a bone marrow donor, only to yield to the disease one year later. Another friend, a very popular local doctor, was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in January a few years ago, and despite all the knowledge he had about his condition, he knew deep down inside just how the story would conclude….which it did some 10 months later.

Then there’s my late friend Neil, great family man, friend to all who’ve had the pleasure to make his acquaintance, passionate Phillies and Eagles fan, well read, and connoisseur of fine wines. Just this past weekend, Neil lost his battle with colorectal cancer…his beloved wife Helene and his family by his side at the moment his spirit left the earth. Now if there’s one thing I’ve learned from his and the other’s pain and suffering, it’s just how strong the will to live is. Neil had to be one of the bravest guys I’ve ever known. While he was in the hospital, he’d always insist on doing whatever he could for himself…despite the great care he’d been receiving from the nursing staff. As long as he was able to get out of bed on his own to use the bathroom, he’d spurn the help of anyone who tried to lend a helping hand. He’d try to make light conversation with his many well wishers, even though the drugs had already taken their toll on his senses.

I look back over the many times we’d spent together…and there are great memories too numerous to mention, but if there’s one enduring memory of him that I’ll always cherish is his last visit to my home. It was around the time the baseball season was winding down last year. He knew his health was about to take a turn for the worst, but kept a brave face anyway. So, as a little present to him, knowing that the Phillies were on the Fox Game of the Week and about to clinch the National League East against the Nationals, I made sure to put the game on for him so that I could watch his glee at seeing that magic moment…..however much it killed me! (I’m a Mets fan, and my pain would only get worse once they’d choked for a second straight year to the Marlins the next day!)

So as the cancerous mass continued to spread, the man was steadfast in his belief that he’d beat it! Treatments came and went, but despite his best efforts to fight, and all the courage he mustered, those who loved him most knew that it was time for him to let go!

And so, this past Saturday morning, he gave in to their wishes!

The lessons that come from this experience are many….but filled with many “whys”…like why did medical science come as far as it did to prolong someone’s life only to make their quality of life unlivable? And while death isn’t a concept we’re comfortable dealing with, is it better that a loved one pass suddenly, very difficult for the family and friends; or that they know the eventual outcome, and be better prepared for it?

Questions that will remain unanswered for the moment!

Till we meet again, Neil!

Words can be fun……if not a little misleading!

The language may be the same, but no two people use the same expression to convey a though or a concept. You know what I mean….saying something that would make absolutely no sense on the surface, but has a hidden meaning nonetheless. I go through this every day with Casey…realizing full well that whatever expressions I use might just be falling on deaf ears! However I carry on…because old habits die, and at this stage in the game, why change!

For instance……if I bring up having to spend an obscene amount of money on something, I might say, “…..jeez, I just went for my lungs!” Think about it. Ripping your lungs out of your chest to pay for something! Probably best left to a pulmonary specialist.
Why is it that when you go out with a group, and each person pays his own way, you’re “going Dutch!”. Is Holland noted for its cheapskates? Do the Dutch even mind the use of the expression in the first place! I’ve also heard it suggested that, again, a similar situation, when the bill for dinner comes, some folks will say, “let’s whack it up!” “Split it amongst ourselves” would probably be more to the point, but I marvel at how many uses the word “whack” has! This latest one might be a new one on you besides the obvious reference to pleasuring oneself…as well as the wise guy connotation to have someone killed.

But what can be more fascinating than the references made to the nether regions. I always loved it when one appeared “not to know his ass from his elbow!” if perplexed. Or perhaps, “he has his head up his ass!” Of course, these need to be said with the correct amount of panache! And nothing is more satisfying to me than, instead of telling someone to “get lost”, to just tell them to “go crap in your hat!” (a personal fave by the way)

There are others too numerous to mention…..like “crying with a loaf of bread under each arm!” (see if you can figure that one out.), or any of the multitude of expressions that substitute the male genitalia instead of using the word “nothing”. Fascinating stuff this language of ours!

And to think, they even teach this stuff in school. One might think it a useless endeavor…..like trying to “put diapers on piss clams!”

A slice of the past is now “toast”….

Pizza. Ask a thousand people where to find the best pizza in Jersey and you’ll get a thousand different answers.

Yesterday I took the family up to the place that gets my vote…..an out of the way place in Hackensack ironically named “Brooklyn’s Pizza”. Funny thing is that there’s really nothing unique about it, since you can find coal-fired brick oven pie just about anywhere….not just in Jersey or Brooklyn. However, I’d been going there since my buddy Eugene from Lodi first took me there in 1991, so they’d become a habit ever since.

Ironic too that just yesterday, while we were sitting there enjoying the pie, we were talking about the place that was the precursor to many of these brick oven joints you find all over. It happens that, unbeknown to us, the place we were talking about had burnt down in a fire just that morning. It was a landmark in Brooklyn….so much so that it’s demise made the 11 o’clock news on Channel 4. My wife and I looked at each other in shock. “Weren’t we just talking about Totonno’s today?”

How the fire got started God only knows….the place had to be over a hundred years old. But if you had ever been there, you’d remember it. Character. No frills. Get what you want, and get the hell out. “We close when the dough runs out”…..that’s the kind of place it was. As kids, my mom used to drive us down to Coney Island on a Friday to eat there. She grew up a block away from the place. The 3 of us used to cry, “…but ma, we don’t want to eat pizza in the slums!” Not that we lived in the lap of luxury, but why go there!

But just like a nationally known chain uses the slogan, “when you’re here, you’re family.”…this place lived it. My mom knew the woman who was the only waitress, and the guy behind the counter who made the pies. They were brother and sister who inherited the place from their father, who happened to come from the same town in Italy as my mother’s father.

The guy behind the counter always seemed like an eternal grouch. Ask him how long you’d have to wait for a pie, and he’d bite your head off. Better just to shut up and wait, and if the dough ran out while you were waiting….well, too bad! His sister was a pretty sweet woman, although like her brother, she never smiled much. But thousands of people knew the place…..knew that they were only open 3 days a week….knew that they had the same marble fixtures and the same ice box where the soda was stored that dated back to the year of the flood! Knew that the tomatoes were always the best, the mozzarella was always the freshest, and even if the brother just schmered on the ingredients, it didn’t matter. The pie was still the tastiest.

So it came as no surprise that when the piemaker died in '93 or '94, the Daily News ran a spread on him…..detailing the history of the place and all the accommodations they’d won in years past. It was so much of a legend that their niece and her husband, not wanting to see it fade into history, took the place over, and shocker to think this, even opened up a place like it on the Upper East Side!

Well yesterday, a little piece of history was taken out in a fire. Will Coney Island see one of its original landmarks again? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. But it does make you remember all those great places you may have been to in the past that had “character”. Jimmy Buff’s in Irvington, where the hot dogs are deep fried in oil, and buried inside a "pizza bread" with greasy home fris…..Agostino’s in Hoboken. I’ve never been, but I’m told the waitress there is a trip….if you can get a reservation...because they only have 5 tables! Pat’s in Philly…..know what the hell you want or get off the line.

When you’re there, you really are like family…verbal abuse and all! Too bad the slogan’s gone corporate.

It was 30 years ago…..more or less

Recently, the AOL homepage featured one of those wacky questions like…”Do You Regret Marrying Your Spouse?” I’m sure this is due to the results of the TV show, “The Bachelor”, Jason Mesnick backing out on his proposal to marry the perky Melissa, and instead falling back on his “true love” Molly. (There had to be a classier way to handle the end of that show, but then again, who says good television has to be “classy”?)

Anyway, I guess everyone gets a case of “cold feet” once the moment of truth presents itself. I did. And, boy, am I glad I had someone like Larry Sheets to help put me over the top!

Who’s Larry Sheets? Well, he’s a guy I worked with when I was a DJ down in Georgia.
Larry’s dad owned a real estate brokerage, and as a hobby, Larry did some fill in work at the radio station. Larry was what you’d call a sensitive guy….sensitive, but not very decisive. It seems that Larry was in a relationship for a number of years, holding out the possibility of marriage to his girlfriend, but never quite sealed the deal! One day Larry came to the radio station looking as though he was diagnosed with some fatal disease. “My girl dumped me” he said with tears in his eyes. “After so many years that we’d been together, she just decided that it was time. I never saw it coming…..I always figured she’d be the one I’d marry….but because I never popped the question, she just went ahead and told me she’d been seeing someone else.”

I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone take a breakup as badly as that. Just the admission that he needed something like ‘ludes just to be able to function was enough to convince me that there was no way to console him.

How fortuitous for me this little meeting. Not wanting to take any glee or comfort in his obvious misfortune, I told him that it wasn’t but a couple of days before that that I’d decided to give my relationship with my then girlfriend a “cooling off” period. I look back at it now and shudder. I mean, here was someone who stuck with me through all my own indecisiveness about leaving family and friends to pursue my dream…and I actually had the audacity to tell her that we needed a “cooling off”? Just writing this aggravates me…..but enough of that!

Mentioning this to Larry, he looked at me with those tear filled doleful eyes and said in his Garth Brooks like twang, “…..do you think she’s the one you’d be spending the rest of your life with?” “Well, yeah”, I said, unassumingly. “Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t let her get awaaaayyyyyy! “Go tell her nowwwwwww!” Don’t let what happened to me happen to you!

Later that day I was on the phone to the woman who would eventual consent to become my wife, and in my most unromantic proposal, said, “…babe, I think we should do this…..what do you say?”

Perhaps if AOL were asking the question and my wife were to answer, who knows, she might answer differently. As for me, I don’t regret a thing…….and will always be in Larry’s debt, wherever he is. Hopefully happily married and owning most of the real estate in Middle Georgia.

Is no pocket sacred?

As many of you know, in the past year I’ve worked toward my certification to become a personal trainer. It’s a fascination I’ve had over the last couple of years, and was encouraged to pursue it as a sideline, especially since so many people my age share my interest in fitness and overall wellness.

Well, almost as if on cue, the New Jersey state government has found yet another pocket they’d like to pick…..anyone who has or will try to make a living as a personal trainer! Consider this recent letter from a concerned listener in the fitness trade:

Hi, Casey & Rossi

I run the group fitness programs at Princeton University, and recently a piece of legislation has been introduced (S 2164, Fitness Professionals Licensing Act) that would put most, if not all, personal trainers and group instructors in New Jersey out of business. It requires trainers/instructors to have 300 hours of classroom instruction, 50 hours of which has to be an unpaid internship. Even though I have excellent instructors that have been teaching for 10, 20 or even 30 years, literally every one of the 60 individuals I supervise at Princeton would be unable to continue working unless they spent thousands on a program.
Most of our folks are part-time and to have to put out that kind of money for a job that earns them at most a few thousand would likely prevent them from continuing in the field. The state (unsurprisingly) is creating a board that would oversee this process and require instructors/trainers to be licensed through the state and renew every year ($$$ for the state).
I understand the need to have qualified people as fitness instructors/trainers so participants are safe. There's a lot of questionable certifications out there in the fitness industry, and passing one of those wouldn't qualify someone to lead a class or train a client.
However, that's why I have a job--I get tons of resumes from would-be instructors and probably follow up with 10% at best. I look for a few well-respected certifications, audition and interview potential hires, and re-evaluate them every semester. Setting this sort of arbitrary requirement (why 300 hours? why does the internship have to be unpaid? who will be on this "board") will put thousands of individuals who ARE diligent and qualified in their training out of work at a time when none of us can afford to be out of work.


Thanks for your time!

Susan Crane
Coordinator for Group & Instructional Fitness, Princeton University


I'd agree with Susan that there may be some trainers that are under qualified, but the various certification agencies have pretty stringent policies already in place for those calling themselves trainers. Could the government do a better job regulating an industry, that, for the most part, seems to be doing a pretty good job of regulating itself? Keep in mind, even though personal safety is the stated goal, the underlying goal is something we all know as revenue enhancement.

In order for me to keep my certification active, I would need to take a number of what are called Continuing Education Credits during the course of any given year. These could vary in subject, such as different exercise modalities, special populations, nutrition, etc. The more CEC’s I have, the better I am at my craft, and the more current my knowledge of a field that is constantly changing! Does a governmental body really have a better grip overseeing the industry and its many professionals? Seeing how the many governmental bodies regulate our lives now, I would think the answer to be pretty simple.


Thanks again to Susan Crane for taking the time to bring this to my attention. Nothing ever surprises me with the many ways the state looks to pick one’s pocket!

Random thoughts over leftovers…lots of leftovers

A few passing thoughts on the Super Bowl post mortem:

Why is having “just enough” never enough? These days I’m not much of a big eater, and my alcohol consumption is limited to wine; so why is it that when I want to make sure I have enough of everything….I wind up buying more of everything I need. For Super Bowl Sunday, I got at least a case of beer more than I needed, but it doesn’t stop there….it’s soda, crackers, foot long heros, cocktail sauce….oh, and the margarita mix. That plus the Spam I got for Christmas, and I’m set. All I need now is a year’s supply of water, some weapons and a generator and I can hide out in my basement… ready for Armageddon!

Aren’t the commercial breaks there to provide a “nature” break. Being in the media, I sort of have to stay glued to the TV during the whole time, but it’s just not natural. So when you know a seemingly cultural event like “Super Bowl commercials” are about to come on….do you just sit there and squirm like a 5 year old….or hope the Avodart kicks in and allows you to get up at a more opportune time...if there is one?

I’m sorry, but we never got to see what would have been the real halftime show…the girl in the skimpy blouse bouncing up and down in front of Bruce. Perhaps if he’d sung “Dancin’ in the Dark” and pulled her up on stage a la Courtney Cox, we’d have had a little more “bounce to the ounce”. Alas, there was to be no wardrobe malfunction. He only had 12 minutes, and a new album to promote! And, by the way, was she really that into Bruce, or would she have preferred Justin Timberlake?

I’m no football expert…but every now and then I like to shout out what I think is a “b.s.” call by the officials, and then listen to see if anyone agrees with me. Every now and then, judging by the reaction, I get one right! Either that, or my guests are just as stupid as I am!

All parties have a natural ending time! So why is it that when you, as the host, have to feign falling asleep to signal to your guests when it’s time to go! Either that or turn up the volume on “Mic’ed Up”! And they still don’t get the hint!

I’ll never again doubt my daughter’s ability to bang out a mean lasagna in record time. She started at 2:30, and by 5, both were being devoured.

At my wife’s insistence, I put up the decorations she bought for last year’s Super Bowl party….problem is they were all proclaiming the Giants’ NFC champions of 2007! It’s like my Uncle Frankie used to say, “..waste not, want not!”

Finally, it’s good to see that nothing endures like a classic…..Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head! Timeless!

The Saints come marchin' in

The Saints come marchin’ in

Whether you’re a believer or not, there are a couple of days in the month of February that we set aside to commemorate the feast days of some popular saints, and maybe one not so popular, saint.

For instance, everyone knows that on the 14th of the month, we set aside some time to commemorate the feast of St Valentine…patron of love and bleeding hearts everywhere. The good St Valentine provides us with a couple of reasons to celebrate….one economic, the other a little more “physical”, if you will. Florists, candy vendors, restaurants, seedy resorts in the Poconos all benefit from the commemoration we give to this holy figure. Sort of a financial boost to the lagging economy. Sales of the DVD “The Notebook” hit record numbers…if you can stand watching it at all, and “KY His and Hers”…..fuggetaboutit! The manufacturers watch with glee as sales shoot through the roof….if you’ll pardon the pun!

Then there’s the universally celebrated Saint who’s name no one knows, but who’s day we all celebrate on the first weekend of the month. I’m referring to St. Mort eh Fame’….patron of over eaters everywhere. This saint’s origins, much like St. Nicholas or St. Patrick, are still being hashed out. I’m guessing he’s a creation of the NFL, the big 3 TV networks, Hormel, and Perdue. Why Hormel and Perdue you ask? Well, one is the largest purveyor of chili in the land and the other has a vested interest in chicken wings! Both the officially recognized modes of celebrating. But one wonders, can one substitute, say lasagna, for the wings and not provoke the ire of the good Saint? Well we at the Rossi manse have made the pasta substitution in years past with very consequence. But whatever you do, don’t serve salad, or else you’ll be cursed for the rest of the year….and Beano afterwards is only for the faint of heart.

The one who may have escaped your gaze is St Blaise…patron saint of the upper respiratory system. He is of particular interest to any of us that talk for a living since he protects the throat from all sorts of maladies…or so the legend goes. Every year in the first week of February, the priest from our local parish would make an appearance in class with two candles forming a cross, and bound together with a ribbon. He would then have you sort of walk into the space between the two candles, and with the candles firmly implanted around your throat, he would then place his hands over your head and say a blessing. ( I know that this may sound like some medieval torture, but that was, and probably still is the drill!) This, I suspect, was supposed to take the place of cough medicine since no one had medical insurance back then!
However, my faith in his restorative powers was tested a couple of years when I invited a priest friend of mine to the radio station where I was working, and had him perform the ritual on both me and one of the promotional staff. I had no problem taking part, but I could see that my much younger co-worker was not familiar with the practice, and actually recoiled in horror when the priest placed the candles around his neck. One, two, three, chop, chop…and it was done! My co-worker survived the ordeal, but much to my amazement, called in sick the next day with a sore throat and a fever!

So here’s to the doldrums of winter. May your celebration be a happy one, filled with good cheer, and just in case....keep the Robitussen handy!

190 and counting…….

I’m sure you’re aware of Oprah Winfrey’s well documented battle with her weight. She now claims that she’s fallen off the wagon and ballooned to 200 pounds. No more cover shots of her anymore from the midsection on down!

Not that I’m comparing myself to her…but you’d have to figure it had to be easier for her stick to a plan….when you have untold millions and God knows how many people in your employ hired specifically to make sure that you’re up at 4 in the morning to work out and eat right! So how is it she falls off the wagon…..and if she can’t stick to a plan, how much harder is it going to be for me….or for that matter, for you!

This morning, after having a weekend of Chinese food, birthday cake, and God knows what else…..I got on the scale in the gym and had my first case of full blown denial. “No, this thing has to be *&^%$#ed up, can’t be right!” The big one nine oh! Red zone a go go……just where I don’t want to be. Marching backwards!

So, how does one rededicate oneself to the plan that you thought would be so easy to do once you got into a routine?

This morning was a good start….workout at 6, home by 7:15, black coffee, protein shake, and here I am by the computer hoping that I’ll be able to formulate something for the rest of the day, and, for that matter, for the week! I know how hard it is each day to stick to a plan, especially when, in the morning, the bed is so warm and comfy! Is it the same for you and have you had the same epiphany? If so, let me know, and fill me in on what you’re doing to get back on track..and better still, to stay on track!

Even the "trainer" needs a boost every now and then.

Nice Try

Had the Eagles won the NFC championship…..difficult though it may have been to take….I would have rooted for them to win it all!

Yes you’ve read right…..I’d have jumped on the bandwagon. However, the thought would have been unbearable….it’s just not in my DNA. Hurts my hair just thinking about it….and I don’t have much to begin with!

But all that aside, I am truly sorry for Eagles fans not seeing their team get to play in the big one. (Ok, maybe not that sorry, but still….) I never liked jumping on anyone’s grave….it’s bad karma. In fact, if you can believe this, I actually had the blog all written out as to why I would have rooted for the Eagles. And no, I don’t think I put the mallocchio on them by writing it before the game…I think my reasons for wanting to see them win are pretty valid….at least in my mind.

And here are the reasons:

Number 1: Many of my friends and close associates are Philly sports fans….they bleed Phillies red and Eagles Green. During the Giants improbable run to the Super Bowl last year, one of them watched with me and audibly cheered when Eli Manning got to hoist the Lombardi trophy. Yeah, I know that he silently wanted to barf, but at least he had the grace to take delight in something that, to him, must have been like getting a root canal.

Don’t you think that the least I could have done was to return the favor?

Another of my Philly fan friends is actually a stage 4 cancer patient. I was with him the day the Phillies clinched the National League East….in fact, I made sure to juice the sound up on the TV so he could see and hear the climactic moment as Joe Buck proclaimed the Phillies champions of the National League East! (I know, I’m about to be canonized St Erasmo of Jersey!)

Number 2: Everyone likes a good comeback story…and this one would have had all the makings of a gem! It wasn’t too too many weeks ago that the chant was, “Andy Reid’s a bum, Donovan McNabb should be run out of town”…blah, blah, blah. You had to figure Donovan was done when, after the Bengals game, he was asked if he knew the game could end in a tie…and he didn’t know! Ooo faa! That made me think back to the “aw shucks” looks that Eli Manning would give whenever he’d throw a pick, and I pretty much knew…yes, I know that feeling. All you need do is substitute the names Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning for Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb; and the similarities hit you in the face.

The life lesson here could easily have been that you’re never really out of it….as long as you have a pulse and the will! Well, it sure looked like they had the will when they beat the Giants……not so much with the Cards. So I guess the chants of “Andy Reid’s a bum, Donovan McNabb should be run out of town”…will start all over again!

On February 1st, there will be a Super Bowl party at the Rossi mansion, and even though there won’t be any Eagles tchochkis …you gotta at least give me credit for making an effort! No? Besides, pitchers and catchers real soon, then the fun really starts!