The Saints come marchin' in

The Saints come marchin’ in

Whether you’re a believer or not, there are a couple of days in the month of February that we set aside to commemorate the feast days of some popular saints, and maybe one not so popular, saint.

For instance, everyone knows that on the 14th of the month, we set aside some time to commemorate the feast of St Valentine…patron of love and bleeding hearts everywhere. The good St Valentine provides us with a couple of reasons to celebrate….one economic, the other a little more “physical”, if you will. Florists, candy vendors, restaurants, seedy resorts in the Poconos all benefit from the commemoration we give to this holy figure. Sort of a financial boost to the lagging economy. Sales of the DVD “The Notebook” hit record numbers…if you can stand watching it at all, and “KY His and Hers”…..fuggetaboutit! The manufacturers watch with glee as sales shoot through the roof….if you’ll pardon the pun!

Then there’s the universally celebrated Saint who’s name no one knows, but who’s day we all celebrate on the first weekend of the month. I’m referring to St. Mort eh Fame’….patron of over eaters everywhere. This saint’s origins, much like St. Nicholas or St. Patrick, are still being hashed out. I’m guessing he’s a creation of the NFL, the big 3 TV networks, Hormel, and Perdue. Why Hormel and Perdue you ask? Well, one is the largest purveyor of chili in the land and the other has a vested interest in chicken wings! Both the officially recognized modes of celebrating. But one wonders, can one substitute, say lasagna, for the wings and not provoke the ire of the good Saint? Well we at the Rossi manse have made the pasta substitution in years past with very consequence. But whatever you do, don’t serve salad, or else you’ll be cursed for the rest of the year….and Beano afterwards is only for the faint of heart.

The one who may have escaped your gaze is St Blaise…patron saint of the upper respiratory system. He is of particular interest to any of us that talk for a living since he protects the throat from all sorts of maladies…or so the legend goes. Every year in the first week of February, the priest from our local parish would make an appearance in class with two candles forming a cross, and bound together with a ribbon. He would then have you sort of walk into the space between the two candles, and with the candles firmly implanted around your throat, he would then place his hands over your head and say a blessing. ( I know that this may sound like some medieval torture, but that was, and probably still is the drill!) This, I suspect, was supposed to take the place of cough medicine since no one had medical insurance back then!
However, my faith in his restorative powers was tested a couple of years when I invited a priest friend of mine to the radio station where I was working, and had him perform the ritual on both me and one of the promotional staff. I had no problem taking part, but I could see that my much younger co-worker was not familiar with the practice, and actually recoiled in horror when the priest placed the candles around his neck. One, two, three, chop, chop…and it was done! My co-worker survived the ordeal, but much to my amazement, called in sick the next day with a sore throat and a fever!

So here’s to the doldrums of winter. May your celebration be a happy one, filled with good cheer, and just in case....keep the Robitussen handy!