To those who’ve fought the good fight…….

This may be a bit premature, but if you’ve been at the supermarket checkout in the last few days, you had to have seen the latest pictures of Patrick Swayze on the cover of the Enquirer. OK, I know it’s the Enquirer, but still, the pictures paint a grim picture, and that is that even though he claims to valiantly fight the pancreatic cancer that has him down to a gaunt shell of his former self, I can’t imagine he has too much time left! But fight on he will!

The reason I bring him up is how I’ve seen friends who’ve battled cancer wage the same battle, only to surrender in the end to the disease. There was a childhood friend who was diagnosed with leukemia in 1992, hoping to find a bone marrow donor, only to yield to the disease one year later. Another friend, a very popular local doctor, was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in January a few years ago, and despite all the knowledge he had about his condition, he knew deep down inside just how the story would conclude….which it did some 10 months later.

Then there’s my late friend Neil, great family man, friend to all who’ve had the pleasure to make his acquaintance, passionate Phillies and Eagles fan, well read, and connoisseur of fine wines. Just this past weekend, Neil lost his battle with colorectal cancer…his beloved wife Helene and his family by his side at the moment his spirit left the earth. Now if there’s one thing I’ve learned from his and the other’s pain and suffering, it’s just how strong the will to live is. Neil had to be one of the bravest guys I’ve ever known. While he was in the hospital, he’d always insist on doing whatever he could for himself…despite the great care he’d been receiving from the nursing staff. As long as he was able to get out of bed on his own to use the bathroom, he’d spurn the help of anyone who tried to lend a helping hand. He’d try to make light conversation with his many well wishers, even though the drugs had already taken their toll on his senses.

I look back over the many times we’d spent together…and there are great memories too numerous to mention, but if there’s one enduring memory of him that I’ll always cherish is his last visit to my home. It was around the time the baseball season was winding down last year. He knew his health was about to take a turn for the worst, but kept a brave face anyway. So, as a little present to him, knowing that the Phillies were on the Fox Game of the Week and about to clinch the National League East against the Nationals, I made sure to put the game on for him so that I could watch his glee at seeing that magic moment…..however much it killed me! (I’m a Mets fan, and my pain would only get worse once they’d choked for a second straight year to the Marlins the next day!)

So as the cancerous mass continued to spread, the man was steadfast in his belief that he’d beat it! Treatments came and went, but despite his best efforts to fight, and all the courage he mustered, those who loved him most knew that it was time for him to let go!

And so, this past Saturday morning, he gave in to their wishes!

The lessons that come from this experience are many….but filled with many “whys”…like why did medical science come as far as it did to prolong someone’s life only to make their quality of life unlivable? And while death isn’t a concept we’re comfortable dealing with, is it better that a loved one pass suddenly, very difficult for the family and friends; or that they know the eventual outcome, and be better prepared for it?

Questions that will remain unanswered for the moment!

Till we meet again, Neil!