A favor to ask….

I have a favor to ask on behalf of a friend of mine who desperately needs help.
If you’ve frequented gyms in the Marlboro/Manalapan area, you’d know who my friend is. His name is Brian Wecker, and he’s one of the kindest, most giving individuals I know, who unfortunately is dealing with the unthinkable right now. He’s in a desperate search to find a bone marrow match for his son who was diagnosed with leukemia. The boy is only 13, and unfortunately has a rare bone marrow type.

Plans are in the works to set up a bone marrow screening in the area in the very near future, but for the moment he’s holding one this coming Wednesday, October 21st, at Doc’s Clam Bar on Page Ave. in Staten Island from 3 till 8 PM.

I know it might be a bit out of the way, but if you have a moment, and are in the area, please make a point to stop by. Again, that’s Doc’s Clam Bar, right off the Outerbridge on Page Ave. in Staten Island.

I’m told the screening only takes a few minutes…just a swab of saliva is needed.

If you need any more information, check out the Facebook page they’ve set up:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=144025285317&ref=mf

Again, you could be saving a life, and what’s more noble a calling than that.

Thanks for caring,

Ray

Show me your friends……..

My mom always used to say, “show me your friends, and I’ll tell you what you are!” So by that logic, I guess that if you have friends that are “schmucks”, chances are you’re probably a schmuck yourself!...with all due respect, of course.

The reason this comes to mind is the endorsement that the Reverend Reginald Jackson, executive director of the Black Ministers Council of New Jersey, recently made to reelect Jon Corzine as Governor of New Jersey. That probably wouldn’t be much of a surprise if it weren’t for the amount of face time he’d received in the movie, “The Cartel”.

By now you’re probable aware that “The Cartel” is an independently produced movie documenting the failure of the public school system in New Jersey, about how it wastes millions of dollars of taxpayer money to support an administration who’s only concern is to continue feeding at the trough…leaving children out in the cold! It’s an indictment of, among others, the powerful teacher’s union in propping up a system that rewards incompetence. All at your expense, dear taxpayer.

There are quite a number of public officials given face time in the movie…voicing concerns as to how broken the system is, and whether or not it can be fixed…most notable among them is the aforementioned Reverend Jackson. In the movie, he looks every bit the caring pastor, ministering to his flock, and showing much concern for the children of his congregation…and by extension, all the state’s children!

Well then, if he truly were a man of his word, and believed that to fix the system would be to promote competition within the educational establishment, i.e. charter schools, why would he then endorse the gubernatorial candidate who was already endorsed by the NJEA…the very organization that encourages maintaining the status quo.

Here’s his quote from the website, www.politickernj.com regarding the Corzine endorsement.

"I have not in the past and am not today making this endorsement lightly. This endorsement is made after much wrestling and soul searching. But it is an endorsement that I strongly make," Jackson said yesterday. "It's hard to be popular in tough economic times, but to his credit Jon Corzine has made the tough calls."

I know, it’s a rhetorical question And I’m not the only one asking that question. So too is Herbert Glenn, a Republican State Assembly candidate from Newark. Check out his take on the situation from politickernj.com.

http://www.politickernj.com/editor/34160/assembly-candidate-say-rev-jackson-will-gain-financially-endorsing-corzine

Especially the quote:

“"I am deeply concerned to investigate the understanding how religious leaders can compromise their spiritual convictions for their own personal political empowerment. This is a typical scenario of the pulpit pimp v. Christian crusader syndrome. Money talks."

So if money does the talking, there’s probably not a lot of “soul searching” and “wrestling” involved in deciding who should govern our state for the next 4 years, is there now?

And even though my mom never said it in biblical terms, saying “show me your friends, and I’ll tell you what you are!” got the message across.

"Lunchroom View"

Opinions are like, well….you know; everyone has one, and even though you get your fill of them here; you really get them in abundance out of the lunchroom.

And depending on your point of view, if you work with a lively bunch of “chiachiaones” (big mouths), lunchtime can either be especially annoying, or revealing! Sometimes, when the din reaches ear-splitting levels, I’ll just put the iPod on and bliss out to Yanni or something equally embarrasing. However, I am nosey by nature, so there are those times when the lunchtime "bochinche" is just too irresistible…and loads of fun!

Take the other day……I’ve learned, even as I’d been typing, that one of my coworkers is ruminating over their sexual past, and how karma is going to work itself out now that middle school aged daughters are involved. Ooofaa! That one never goes well!

Then there’s today’s edition of “Lunchroom View”….talk of claymation cartoons a la “Mr. Bill” and “Davey and Goliath”; how long have you gone without showering; Bruce at the Meadowlands not selling out; and bad cases of “ass acne”, and is it a precursor to something more heinous…all while I’m devouring last nights still partially frozen arroz con pollo. Despite the “ass acne” talk, I can’t tear myself away from the chicken! Yeah, I’m that hungry! And I never knew that ass acne requires a dermotoligist’s care, and if it’s covered by insurance!

The ghost of Rodney Dangerfield will appear every now and then to impart some wisdom…I’d give you an example, but since Rodney never got any respect in real life, why start now!

Yes, lunchtime can be truly revealing! Sort of like being a fly on the wall in a group therapy session. Now if I only can get the image of ass acne out of my head!

Brooklyn Roads

You may have heard that I’m a big Barry Manilow fan. That’s not quite true. The fact is I’ve always been a huge fan of another Brooklyn native. And no, it’s not Barbra Streisand either! It’s actually Neil Diamond. The “Jewish Elvis”!

And while his voice has given way to a sort of raspy shadow of its former self, the guy’s music is timeless. Not just the usual litany of hit material, but one in particular stands out as a personal favorite. The song is “Brooklyn Roads”. I think it came out in late ’68 or ’69, and it’s his autobiography of sorts. In it, he sings of his growing up “2 floors above the butcher, first door on the right”, running into his father’s bear hug, feeling his dad’s whiskers on his face. The imagery is stark and harkens back to a time when I can remember living 2 floors above a grocery store. Hearing the lyrics makes me smell the scents in the hallway of everyone’s cooking as he climbs the stairs to his apartment. It’s all so real for me. And as the story winds down, he bemoans the fact that his life has taken a few too many turns away from this simple life. But, in the end he realizes, as he looks up at his former apartment, and spies a boy not too unlike himself; that the more things seem to change, the more they remain the same. And even if you can never go back “home”, you’re never far from it either!

So it’s with that same feeling that on October 24th, I’m going to rewind back to 1965, when those familiar Brooklyn roads lead me back to my old grammar school….Our Lady of Grace! Quite a few of us have fond memories of OLG….a school which in the last few years has become a charter school.

God knows, the sight of the halls, the schoolyards, the classrooms, and the auditorium will bring back too many memories...and not all of them good! There’s the first day my mom dropped me off at kindergarten, and all I could remember, besides sheer terror, was the smell of burning tar from the construction of the school’s auditorium. Who’s ever challenged a nun’s authority? Well, you had to know that at that point, you were taking your life in your hands. A nun named Sister Genevieve ruled kindergarten with an iron fist. I had the nerve one day to tell her to shut up. That did not go well. Wooden sticks, smacks with both hands….I went home looking like Rocky after the first Apollo Creed fight!

Corporal punishment was the rule for nuns and even lay teachers…some were better at it than others. My 8th grade nun was so frail that when she went to smack one of my classmates for something stupid he’d done, her hand bled! No so with the other 8th grade nun. If you wore glasses and she told you to take them off, all the blood would drain from your face in anticipation of what was coming!

I often wondered whether any of these nuns could possibly have been canonized into sainthood knowing how they tortured some of us. I’d feel a little strange praying to one of them for a miracle.

But it wasn’t all hard knocks! Ringolevio, saluggi (grabbing someone’s hat off their head and flinging it around to your friends), getting initiated into the “bush club” (it’s not what you think, it’s actually getting tossed into hedges on the way to school), half days on Wednesday, pretzels at 10:30; and 8th grade prom (seeing real cleavage on girls you never thought had it!).

That’s only a small taste of where the road will lead on October 24th. I’m just wondering if I’ll find that same kid that Neil Diamond found at the end of his song!

In some ways he’s not as lucky as we were…..with one possible exception….he doesn’t have the bruises to show for it!

Off the beaten path

Call me a little late in coming to the table, but sometimes it takes a while to discover those gems that are the true essence of what New Jersey was.

A recent visit to both Roebling and Ocean Grove opened my eyes to just that.

Roebling, in case you’re not familiar with it, is a small town just south of Bordentown, founded by Charles Roebling….he of the family that manufactured the cable for the Brooklyn Bridge, George Washington Bridge, and Golden Gate…among many others.

Time it was that Roebling was a bustling hub of activity as the steel mills ran 24 hours a day. The residents there all worked for the company, and lived in a sort of nirvana until the mills closed in 1974. But Roebling never lost its sense of community.

My tour guide is the town’s unofficial historian, George Lengel. His father, a Hungarian immigrant, worked the mill, as did George himself until his father prevailed upon him to find another career, because, in his words, he didn’t raise his son to be no steelworker! And even though George didn’t fancy himself to be a grade A student, off he went in search of a career as an educator!

Most of the original housing…..mainly row homes and semi attached houses, still stand; as do remnants of the original mill. It is said that, ever now and then, an apparition appears in one of the abandoned mill’s windows, and despite the fact that searching parties have been formed, no one to date has been found!

It’s one of those few places where people rarely leave since a good many of the residents are descendents of the original settlers…..the quintessential place where “everybody knows your name”. Outside of the fact that the River Line runs through the center of town, it’s as though the 21st century stops at Route 130!

So too the character of Ocean Grove…..a short drive off the Parkway or Route 18, at the end of Corlies Ave. Just past the light on Route 71, and you enter another universe….sort of like a New Hope on the shore.

Here again the homes each have a character all their own, and you never know what your going to find happening on Main Ave. Recently my wife and I were just browsing through the stores when we hear someone singing to a karaoke machine, drawing an enthusiastic crowd! And that’s not such an unusual occurrence.

There are loads of others too numerous to mention here…..I’m sure you can name a few of your own. But it’s always a treat that in a state known for bulldozing its past to make way for tomorrow, there are still a few places that time seems to have forgotten!

To those who’ve fought the good fight…….

This may be a bit premature, but if you’ve been at the supermarket checkout in the last few days, you had to have seen the latest pictures of Patrick Swayze on the cover of the Enquirer. OK, I know it’s the Enquirer, but still, the pictures paint a grim picture, and that is that even though he claims to valiantly fight the pancreatic cancer that has him down to a gaunt shell of his former self, I can’t imagine he has too much time left! But fight on he will!

The reason I bring him up is how I’ve seen friends who’ve battled cancer wage the same battle, only to surrender in the end to the disease. There was a childhood friend who was diagnosed with leukemia in 1992, hoping to find a bone marrow donor, only to yield to the disease one year later. Another friend, a very popular local doctor, was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in January a few years ago, and despite all the knowledge he had about his condition, he knew deep down inside just how the story would conclude….which it did some 10 months later.

Then there’s my late friend Neil, great family man, friend to all who’ve had the pleasure to make his acquaintance, passionate Phillies and Eagles fan, well read, and connoisseur of fine wines. Just this past weekend, Neil lost his battle with colorectal cancer…his beloved wife Helene and his family by his side at the moment his spirit left the earth. Now if there’s one thing I’ve learned from his and the other’s pain and suffering, it’s just how strong the will to live is. Neil had to be one of the bravest guys I’ve ever known. While he was in the hospital, he’d always insist on doing whatever he could for himself…despite the great care he’d been receiving from the nursing staff. As long as he was able to get out of bed on his own to use the bathroom, he’d spurn the help of anyone who tried to lend a helping hand. He’d try to make light conversation with his many well wishers, even though the drugs had already taken their toll on his senses.

I look back over the many times we’d spent together…and there are great memories too numerous to mention, but if there’s one enduring memory of him that I’ll always cherish is his last visit to my home. It was around the time the baseball season was winding down last year. He knew his health was about to take a turn for the worst, but kept a brave face anyway. So, as a little present to him, knowing that the Phillies were on the Fox Game of the Week and about to clinch the National League East against the Nationals, I made sure to put the game on for him so that I could watch his glee at seeing that magic moment…..however much it killed me! (I’m a Mets fan, and my pain would only get worse once they’d choked for a second straight year to the Marlins the next day!)

So as the cancerous mass continued to spread, the man was steadfast in his belief that he’d beat it! Treatments came and went, but despite his best efforts to fight, and all the courage he mustered, those who loved him most knew that it was time for him to let go!

And so, this past Saturday morning, he gave in to their wishes!

The lessons that come from this experience are many….but filled with many “whys”…like why did medical science come as far as it did to prolong someone’s life only to make their quality of life unlivable? And while death isn’t a concept we’re comfortable dealing with, is it better that a loved one pass suddenly, very difficult for the family and friends; or that they know the eventual outcome, and be better prepared for it?

Questions that will remain unanswered for the moment!

Till we meet again, Neil!

Words can be fun……if not a little misleading!

The language may be the same, but no two people use the same expression to convey a though or a concept. You know what I mean….saying something that would make absolutely no sense on the surface, but has a hidden meaning nonetheless. I go through this every day with Casey…realizing full well that whatever expressions I use might just be falling on deaf ears! However I carry on…because old habits die, and at this stage in the game, why change!

For instance……if I bring up having to spend an obscene amount of money on something, I might say, “…..jeez, I just went for my lungs!” Think about it. Ripping your lungs out of your chest to pay for something! Probably best left to a pulmonary specialist.
Why is it that when you go out with a group, and each person pays his own way, you’re “going Dutch!”. Is Holland noted for its cheapskates? Do the Dutch even mind the use of the expression in the first place! I’ve also heard it suggested that, again, a similar situation, when the bill for dinner comes, some folks will say, “let’s whack it up!” “Split it amongst ourselves” would probably be more to the point, but I marvel at how many uses the word “whack” has! This latest one might be a new one on you besides the obvious reference to pleasuring oneself…as well as the wise guy connotation to have someone killed.

But what can be more fascinating than the references made to the nether regions. I always loved it when one appeared “not to know his ass from his elbow!” if perplexed. Or perhaps, “he has his head up his ass!” Of course, these need to be said with the correct amount of panache! And nothing is more satisfying to me than, instead of telling someone to “get lost”, to just tell them to “go crap in your hat!” (a personal fave by the way)

There are others too numerous to mention…..like “crying with a loaf of bread under each arm!” (see if you can figure that one out.), or any of the multitude of expressions that substitute the male genitalia instead of using the word “nothing”. Fascinating stuff this language of ours!

And to think, they even teach this stuff in school. One might think it a useless endeavor…..like trying to “put diapers on piss clams!”